Lessons on how to be a good republican! har har har...
(courtesy of Rmleider@aol.com)
1) You have to believe that the nation's current 8-year
 prosperity was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but that yesterday's gas prices are all Clinton's fault.

2) You have to believe that those privileged from birth
achieve success completely on their own.

3) You have to be against government programs, but expect Social
Security checks on time.

4) You have to believe that government should stay out of
people's lives, yet you want government to regulate only
opposite-gender marriages, a women's right to choose, what one puts in his or her own body and what our official language should be.

5) You have to believe that pollution is OK, so long as it
 makes a profit.

 6) You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you
don't pray to Allah or Buddha.

7) You have to believe that only your own teenagers are
 still virgins.

8) You have to believe that a woman cannot be trusted with decisions
 about her own body, but that large multinational
corporations should have no regulation or interference whatsoever.

9) You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares
your hatred of AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.

10) You have to believe that society is colorblind and
growing up black in America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but
you still won't vote for Alan Keyes.

11) You have to believe that it was wise to allow Ken Starr
to spend $50 million dollars to attack Clinton because no other U.S.
presidents have ever been unfaithful to their wives.

12) You have to believe that a waiting period for purchasing
a handgun is bad because quick access to a new firearm is an important concern for all Americans.

13) You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out of schools,
because we all know if teenagers don't have condoms they
won't have sex.

14) You have to believe that the ACLU is bad because they
defend the Constitution, while the NRA is good because they
defend the Constitution.
15) You have to believe that socialism hasn't worked
anywhere, and that Europe doesn't exist.

16) You have to believe the AIDS virus is not important
enough to deserve
 federal funding proportionate to the resulting death rate
and that the public doesn't need to be educated about it,
because if we just ignore it, it will go away.

17) You have to believe that biology teachers are corrupting
the morals of 6th graders if they teach them the basics of human
sexuality, but the Bible, which is full of sex and violence, is good
reading.
18) You have to believe that Chinese communist missiles have killed more Americans than handguns, alcohol, and tobacco.
 19) You have to believe that even though governments have supported the arts for 5000 years and that most of the great works of Renaissance art were paid for by governments, our government should shun any such support. After all, the rich can afford to buy their own and the poor don't need any.
20) You have to believe that the lumber from the last one
percent of old growth U.S. forests is well worth the destruction of those forests and the extinction of the several species of plants and animals therein.
21) You have to believe that we should forgive and pray for
Newt Gingrich, Henry Hyde, and Bob Livingston for their marital infidelities, but that bastard Clinton should be impeached.
   22)You have to ignore that most of the economic gains of the past three decades have gone to the wealthiest segments of the population. From 1979-1998, the inflation-adjusted income of families in the poorest fifth of the population did not improve at all, while incomes for the whole population increased by 20%. Incomes at the very top have increased even faster. CEOs, who now make nearly 500 times the average employee's wages. The net financial wealth of the top one percent of households now equals the combined wealth of the bottom 95 percent of American households.
23) You have to believe the 60 billion tax dollars a year that unsuccesfully tries to stop people from using drugs and imprisoning those who do, could not go to better causes.

24)You have to ignore that eleven years after the end of the Cold War, the US spends tens of billions of dollars maintaining 200,000 troops in Europe and Asia, where our strong, prosperous allies themselves have military budgets far larger than those of their prospective enemies. We maintain a strategic nuclear force of over 6,000 deployed warheads, far more than are needed for deterrence.America spends more for its military than all of our allies put together. Our allies, in turn, spend twice as much as Russia and China together, and more than ten times as much as the total of the seven “states of concern” that we consider as potential enemies. Former Reagan Administration Assistant Secretary of Defense Lawrence Korb has identified $62 billion in military budget cuts, about 20% of the budget, that could be made almost immediately, without jeopardizing our national security in any way

25) You have to believe that even though the Internet owes its existence to government (tax paid) subsidies and tax breaks, those multi national corporations that now dominate the Net reap the benefits should pay nothing back to the people.


26)You have to believe that universal health care is not a right. You have to ignore that the United States spends more per person on health care than any other country in the world, but the World Health Organization ranked the U.S. 37th in the overall quality of health care that it provides. We are the only industrialized country that lacks universal health care. More than 42 million Americans have no health insurance. For around 10 percent of its GNP, Canada provides health care for everyone from the cradle to the nursing home. The United States spends 14 percent of its GDP on health care, even as it leaves tens of millions of men, women, and children without coverage.

Vote Green Party.